Desperate Housewives: How To Please A Man

Desperate Housewives:  How To Please A Man

In the last installment, we learned that a woman’s place is in the kitchen.  But these dames can do more than just cook!  What are they trying to tell us now?  

  1.  “If  your husband’s favorite dinner turned out to be a disaster, distract him with Revlon’s NEW Indelible Creme Lipstick in Ruby Slipper©®.  ‘What dinner?’ he’ll say!”  -Marjorie O’Donnell, 19601


2.  “Dear Abby, How am I supposed to be a freak in the bed if we don’t even share one?” -Lillian Snow, 19572


3.  “Norma, what you could possibly need a break from?  You get to sit at home all day with Ralphie and Alice!”  -Donald Burnett, 1952 (RIP Donald Burnett, 1926-1952)3.jpg


4.  “Mowing your lawn isn’t only about cutting the grass; it’s also about showing off your legs and accentuating your waist.”  -Evelyn Mooney, 19554.jpg


5.  “I learned 2 things this year:  to keep my mouth shut, and to wait until Hank passes out to unpack the garland.” -Lois Donnelly-Majors, 19615.jpg


6.  “Even though Mr. Ward does that bit with the banana every time I come in, what kind of lady would I be if I didn’t react with coy bemusement?”  -Mildred Davenport, 19616.jpg


7.  “It’s been 10 years, and Cliff has never noticed the empty Heinz©® soup cans in the garbage.” -Joy Davies, 19587.jpg


8.  “Boys don’t make passes at girls who break glasses, so watch out for those roots.” -Ruth Spencer, 19598.jpg


9.  “Edwards Coffee©® and NEW Inderal©® by ICI Pharmaceuticals are partnering to bring your busy guy the newest and best way to start the day!  Just tell him it’s the coffee.”  -Edith Vogel for ICI Pharmaceuticals, 1964a


10.  “The real way to a man’s heart is through his liver.”  -Phyllis Guthrie, 195310.jpg

Desperate Housewives: In the Kitchen 

Desperate Housewives:  In the Kitchen.  

What are they really telling us? 

  1.  “Radishes take on a new whimsical quality when suspended in New Celery Flavor JELL-O® Gelatin for Salads.”  -Anne Marie Whitman, 19651

2.  “Dear, if you ply the Murphy’s with enough Ballantine’s Ale©®, they’ll never notice I burned the pot roast.”  -Cynthia Dearfield, 19572.jpg

3.  “Bud, do you think your father’s secretary is prettier than I am?”  -Helen Baker, 19553

4.  “When Jim sees me balancing all these Coca Cola’s©® on a tray without spilling, he’ll pin me for sure!” -Jean Billingsley-Wells, 19495.jpg

5.  “You’d never guess the secret to my chocolate cake is Farmer Peet’s©® Open Kettle Rendered Lard.  Not only is it tastier than butter, it’s also better for you!”  -Peggy Nelson, 19536

6.  “Sue and Carol can’t even make a satisfying bowl of Campbell’s Chicken and Stars Soup©® without screwing it up.  They’d better watch their figures and pay attention in sewing class, or they’ll never find a man to take care of them.”  -Shirley Daugherty, 19597.jpg

7.  “Thank goodness for Roche brand Valium©®.” -Margaret Walker, 19624

8.  “If only I could trust Eddie like I trust my authentic stainless steel cookware by Magnalite©®.”  –Bette Jenkins, 1960SEP020660

9.  “Hey girls, my waist is smaller, my breasts are pointier, and my Kelvinator©® is better stocked.  Now who wants ham?” -Kitty McEntire, 19529.jpg

10.  “When no one is looking, I eat Nestle Toll House©® Premium Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough right out of the tube.” -Ginger Lewis, 196410.jpg

This post is dedicated to Mary Elizabeth.